


Violets

by Fallynleaf



Category: Sanditon (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Femslash February, First Kiss, Period-Typical Homophobia, Picnics, Sappho (fl. 600 BCE) Poetry, Violets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 11:22:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22969192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallynleaf/pseuds/Fallynleaf
Summary: Charlotte and Georgiana have their picnic, just the two of them.
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood/Georgiana Lambe
Kudos: 7
Collections: Femslash February





	Violets

**Author's Note:**

> An alternate universe where Otis did not join Georgiana and Charlotte's picnic in episode 4.

Charlotte felt both very brave and very foolish for sneaking out with Georgiana. Even though it was just a picnic, and even though she knew that Georgiana desperately needed it, that this outing was a balm for her soul, there was that nagging voice at the back of her head telling her that she was doing a naughty thing.

As soon as she saw Georgiana’s smile, though, and heard her laugh, it was difficult to remember that she wasn’t supposed to be here.

“This is my favorite time of the year,” Charlotte said, as they ambled through the forest. “I always love to see the flowers.”

“They are rather pretty, aren’t they?” Georgiana asked, like she’d just noticed their beauty. She stopped walking, staring at the meadow that blanketed the ground around them. “I wish I had the chance to see them more frequently.”

Poor Georgiana, trapped in the house all day. Charlotte felt a flash of resentment toward Sidney rush through her. How could he be so cruel as to deny Georgiana this? This simple pleasure of sitting amongst the wildflowers on a nice sunny day.

Charlotte bent down and picked one of the violets. “Look, it matches your dress,” she said, holding it up to Georgiana.

Georgiana’s smile deepened.

“You are meant to be out here, in this meadow,” Charlotte said. “You’re prettier than all of the blossoms.” She reached forward and tucked the stem of the violet in Georgiana’s hair.

If she wasn’t mistaken, the compliment made Georgiana blush. Suddenly, Charlotte found herself blushing, too. She didn’t understand why.

“Well, I think I spy a good spot for our picnic just over there,” Charlotte said, motioning them on.

They settled down on a soft, clear patch of earth, spreading the blanket beneath them.

As they started to eat, the conversation fell into silence. Georgiana seemed lost in thought, her gaze cast beyond the trees to someplace far away.

“Have you ever been in love?” she asked, meeting Charlotte’s eyes.

Charlotte thought about it as she chewed a bite of food. She swallowed, then took a swig from her cup.

“I don’t know,” she said. “Have you?”

Georgiana was staring at her, her gaze unusually intense.

“Maybe,” she said. Her mouth twisted into a frown. “Not that I’d be allowed to be,” she said.

“Why not?”

“Because Sidney is more concerned with my safety than my happiness.” Georgiana’s voice was clipped.

Charlotte reached out and grasped Georgiana’s hand, squeezing it tight.

“I’m sure there will come a day where you can have the freedom to love,” Charlotte said, trying to reassure her.

But Georgiana was shaking her head. She laughed, bitterly.

“Not for me. Never,” she said.

Georgiana tried to pull her hand out from under Charlotte’s, but Charlotte just grasped her tighter.

“Why not?” Charlotte demanded. “Who is responsible for denying you your happiness?” She felt suddenly overcome with anger.

“No one. Everyone.” Georgiana sighed. “If I explain it to you, you’ll only hate me for it.”

“I’ll never hate you,” Charlotte said quickly.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

Charlotte felt frustrated, then, that after everything, Georgiana still wouldn’t trust her. “Georgiana, out of all of the people I’ve met during my time in Sanditon, you’re the one who means the most to me. I would do anything in my power to give you your happiness.”

Georgiana closed her eyes. She leaned back. Her hand was still in Charlotte’s grasp.

“See? That’s precisely why you can never know,” she said.

“I don’t understand what could possibly be so awful about love,” Charlotte said.

“Of course you don’t understand,” Georgiana said. “How could you?”

She tried to take her hand back, and this time, Charlotte let her.

“Violets, Charlotte,” Gerogiana’s voice broke. “It’s because of the violets.”

Charlotte watched a tear slide down Georgiana’s cheek, reflecting flecks of sunlight. “Violets?” she asked.

Georgiana opened her eyes. She looked right at Charlotte, then said, “Close by my side, you put around yourself many wreaths of violets and roses, and many woven garlands made from flowers around your tender neck. And on a soft bed, tender, you satisfied your desire.”

She was shaking with tears, now.

Charlotte didn’t understand why. She didn’t understand what Georgiana had meant. “Is that a poem?” she asked.

“Yes,” Georgiana choked out. “It’s a poem about love. By Sappho.”

“What do you mean by it?” Charlotte asked. She reached to comfort Georgiana, but Georgiana twisted away from her.

“It’s a poem about love. By a woman, written for another woman,” Georgiana said.

Charlotte froze.

“Do you see it now? Why I can’t be happy?”

“I—” Charlotte didn’t know what to say. It had never occurred to her that a woman could love another woman like that.

“I’m sorry.” Georgiana stood up. “I’ll just—”

“No, wait,” Charlotte said, reaching to catch Georgiana’s wrist. “Stay, please.”

Georgiana glanced down at her, then at their connected hands. Slowly, she sat back down.

“This is… a lot to think about,” Charlotte said, diplomatically.

Georgiana snorted. “It’s not that hard,” she said. “Girls are really pretty.”

Charlotte nodded, “They are,” she agreed without thinking.

Georgiana raised an eyebrow at her. Charlotte felt her cheeks grow warm. She realized that she was still holding Georgiana’s hand. She let go of it very carefully.

“Er…” she said.

“So, you aren’t disgusted?” Georgiana asked.

Charlotte shook her head. “I’m… confused, I think,” she said. “This is all so new to me. But I don’t hate you.”

She saw the relief pass over Georgiana’s face and felt instantly guilty. “I should have started with that, shouldn’t I have?” she said.

Georgiana smiled wryly.

Suddenly, Charlotte felt laughter bubbling up inside of her. It felt so absurd that the thought of Georgiana loving a woman should disgust her.

“What’s so funny?” Georgiana asked.

“It’s just—some things have started to make sense to me that I’d never thought to consider before,” Charlotte said.

“What kinds of things?”

Charlotte stared at her, appreciating the soft play of light on Georgiana’s skin, the warmth of her eyes, the gentle blue of her dress.

“You. Me. The two of us, together,” Charlotte said.

Georgiana was silent. Waiting for Charlotte to continue.

“You do look very nice with violets in your hair, you know,” Charlotte said. “You should wear them more often.”

Georgiana scoffed at the idea. “People would laugh.”

“I wouldn’t.”

Georgiana was looking at her. Charlotte didn’t quite know what to do with the weight of her gaze. She shifted, leaning over to pick another violet.

“Can I?” Charlotte asked, holding it up.

Georgiana nodded slowly.

Charlotte shifted closer. She reached up and tucked the violet into Georgiana’s hair beside the other one. She could feel Georgiana’s breath on her skin.

“If you put them in my hair, then I get to put them in yours,” Georgiana threatened.

Charlotte smiled. “Deal.”

Giggling, Georgiana scooted over to pick a violet, then crawled back to Charlotte and reached up to stick it behind her ear underneath her hat.

Charlotte picked another one. But before she could place it in Georgiana’s hair, Georgiana was sliding another flower into Charlotte’s.

For several minutes, they tucked flower after flower into each other’s hair, squealing with laughter.

One of the flowers started to slip free, and Charlotte reached up to reposition it. “It’s not fair!” she said. “They don’t stay as well in my hair as they do in yours.”

Another violet on the other side started to fall, and this time Georgiana reached over to catch it. She slid it back into place, then tucked Charlotte’s hair behind her ear. Her fingers were light across Charlotte’s skin, her touch warm. Charlotte’s eyes fluttered closed. She didn’t want Georgiana to let go of her.

“Are the violets supposed to be a metaphor?” Georgiana asked, her voice soft.

“I wish I remembered that poem,” Charlotte said, without answering her. “It was a beautiful poem.”

“I can tell it to you again, if you’d like.”

Charlotte nodded.

“Close by my side, you put around yourself many wreaths of violets and roses, and many woven garlands made from flowers around your tender neck. And on a soft bed, tender, you satisfied your desire,” Georgiana murmured.

Charlotte opened her eyes. The two of them were sitting so close together. Georgiana’s hand was still on Charlotte’s face. Gently, she lifted Charlotte’s chin. Then she started to lean forward, and Charlotte knew what was about to happen, and her lips parted, and then Georgiana’s mouth was on hers, and she tasted like spring and picnics and the midday sun.

_Oh, this is what it’s like_.

Georgiana drew back, and Charlotte chased after her, pressing little kisses over her mouth.

The two of them ended up sprawled on the blanket, Charlotte’s hat cast aside, crushed violets strewn about them.

“What’s going to happen when we go back?” Charlotte asked, her voice nearly a whisper. Their faces were inches apart.

Georgiana sighed. “Do we have to leave?” she rolled onto her back.

“Georgiana…”

“Some part of me feels like this can’t possibly be real,” Georgiana said. “That I’m going to wake up alone in my bed, and this will have never happened.”

“If this is all just a dream, then I’m dreaming it, too,” Charlotte said. “But dream or not, we can’t just stay here forever.”

A light breeze rustled through the trees, sending the sunlight dancing across their faces.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen next,” Georgiana answered. “I suppose that depends on you.”

“What do you mean by that?” Charlotte asked.

“Whether or not this continues when we’re back in Sanditon proper.”

Charlotte thought for a long moment, trying to figure out a way to phrase what she was about to say.

“I want it to continue,” she said, finally. “But I don’t know how, and I don’t know what it will look like. What does happiness look like, for women like us?”

“This,” Georgiana whispered.

“But _beyond_ this,” Charlotte insisted.

“I don’t know how to look beyond this. Maybe moments like this are all we’ll ever get.”

Charlotte sat up. “I refuse to accept that!” she said.

Georgiana snorted. Then she laughed.

“What? What is it?” Charlotte asked, suddenly feeling a little embarrassed.

“You’re so—” Georgiana shook her head, smiling. “You always think so much of the world. You believe that people are far better than they actually are. It’s endearing.”

Charlotte pouted a little at that, prompting Georgiana to lean over and kiss her.

“We should be getting back,” Charlotte said, reluctantly.

There was a solemn air about them as they packed up their picnic. Charlotte reached over and gently removed all of the violets from Georgiana’s hair. Georgiana did the same to her afterward, and Charlotte told herself that she wasn’t going to cry.

“This isn’t going to be the last time,” Charlotte insisted. “We’ll find a way.”

She knew that Georgiana still harbored doubts, but Georgiana didn’t voice them. She just gave Charlotte a smile that was half bitter and half sweet, then leaned in and kissed her one last time.


End file.
